-Joey Tribbiani, Friends For those of you that don't know
**Maybe that should be my thing. Start every post off with a quote. I'm sure I'm the first person to have ever thought of this.
When I look back at today, it was a good day. However, there were certainly some times where that might not have been the case. I considered drinking at 9:50 this morning because my boss was driving me batty. Unless I'm on vacation (because let's be honest, all rules go out the window when I'm on vacation), I typically do not advocate drinking before noon. But today started off as one of those days. So I took a break, browsed Happy Place, zenned myself and was able to kick it back into gear for work.
Internet photo. Perfect example of how I felt this morning.
I went to lunch with some former coworkers better known as friends. We chatted about football. Well, I chatted with the guy who came to lunch about football while the other 2 girls sat there bored. We chatted about how the place where they work is still awful AKA nothing changed after I left. And then we got on an interesting middle of the work day discussion--although if you knew the guy I was with AKA the only person in my life that knows I'm writing this, this would not surprise you. We started discussing marriage, love, divorce, and religion. Yup, pretty heavy for lunch, right? Well, since I hinted at this topic yesterday, I thought today's a good day to tackle it. It will again be some insight into who I am.
I am married. We have been married for 2 years. This September we will be celebrating our 10th anniversary together and that doesn't include the 3 months we dated before that. One can say I love love. I was always the girl that was going to get married and have 2.5 kids. It's just who I am and trust me, I am just fine with that perception.
File photo. My husband and I... Well, he wasn't my husband yet.
Today, the question is why do I know so many people getting divorced so soon after marriage. My husband brought up a good point. The divorce rate in this country is 50%. Why should we think our friends are exempt from that? Then there were a couple of good ones thrown out at lunch today. Is it because as a nation we have less values and morals? Is it that we don't put as much of an emphasis on religion anymore (I'm of course referring to the population outside the Bible belt and the Tea Party)? Or is it just that divorce is so easy, why not?
I should have prefaced this with the fact that my parents divorced when I was 8 years old (my mother will tell you it was when I was 10 but that's just when it was final. She left when I was 8). As an 8-year-old, I can honestly tell you that when she left I thought, "Thank goodness! I cannot live with those two anymore!" Didn't see that one coming, huh? My parents were meant to be best friends. They were not meant to be a married couple. They did an amazing job raising me together and obviously as my first thought tells you, they did an amazing job of letting me know how much they loved me, no matter what they felt towards each other. Never for a second did I think my mother was leaving me. I knew it was time for her to leave my father. I understood.
Well I've probably already rambled on for too long for a blog entry and I still haven't answered the question at hand. I guess, and I'll be brief here, I think no matter what there was always something not healthy going on with marriage and divorces. Sure today a lot more people are divorced. Maybe some of them are giving up when they should be working at it. Maybe some people never got the memo that marriage is hard and both partners need to work at it to succeed. Maybe some shouldn't have gotten married at all. Everyone has their own story. But what I know is that when divorce wasn't as easy or as accepted, people were in loveless, unhappy and/or abusive relationships. So we gave up a part of society that was suffering in silence and added to society the likes of Britney Spears being able to get married and then have it annulled just 55 hours later.
As we evolve as a society, we'll have to accept the good with the bad. Hopefully, in the end, it will all be for the improvement of society. Wow, that's a little optimistic for someone like me, but really, when it comes to love, that's exactly how I am. Definitely an optimist.
And for those people that my husband and I are close with that divorced within 2 years, they all seem happier and healthier. It seems they made the right decisions for themselves. So maybe they just fell too hard too fast for the wrong person. They just haven't found their lobster yet.
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