Dear Me, Happy New Year, and Other News

Well, it's been almost a month since my last post.  Let's just say that I took December off.  Holidays, in-laws, hosting. It can be a rather stressful month and honestly, I didn't think I had anything interesting to say.

Had I started this blog last year.  I could have written quite the piece about my mother-in-law.  But this year, after 10 years of not getting along, we seem to finally be okay.  Of course, I have fallen for this before so there could be something to write at some point this year.  You just never know with her.  One day, I'll have to post my infamous email I sent her.  For those of you that have issues with MILs, I am certain you will enjoy it.  For those of you who don't, you'll probably think I'm an evil bitch.  You win some, you lose some.  But that's for another day.

One interesting thing that I did over the last couple weeks was I wrote a letter to my 16-year-old self.  A friend in New Jersey has a daughter that is turning 16 tomorrow.  While searching for a gift for her, I came across a book, Dear Me: A Letter to My 16-Year-Old Self.  I bought it for her and  flipped through it a little.  It's a really great read.  A bunch of celebrities (some I know and others I didn't) wrote letters to themselves at that age.  Some were funny.  Others were serious.  But either way, I think they had a lot to say about what 16-year-olds think are so tragically important and how much these things really aren't in the grand scheme of things.  So I decided to write my letter and stick it in the book for her.  I hope I had some wise words of wisdom, or at least made her smile a little.  Here it is:

Dear 16-year-old Me,

A few of things: 

1.       You’re currently obsessed with Mariah Carey and have been for nearly 10 years.
2.       You live & breathe for the NY Giants.
3.       You’ve “recently” (about 2 years ago) become obsessed with Matchbox Twenty & Rob Thomas.
4.       Your favorite shows are Friends & Seinfeld.
5.       You have a huge crush on Leonardo DiCaprio.
6.       Your close friends include R***, C**, K***, P****, N****, J**, and J***.

These things don’t really change much in the next 12 years. I’m glad you had such good taste at 16.

Some advice I would give you:

1.       Start thinking about college. You’re guidance counselor at school stinks and won’t be very helpful, and your parents just don’t know much about it because they didn’t do it. I know you don’t have the internet at home but take a walk over to the library and do some research on your own.  Or at least take some time at Daddy’s this weekend and look it up on his computer. Next year (junior year), you should start looking at colleges.  No decisions need to be made yet but this will help you make the decision when it’s time.
2.       That guy you started dating last November, well, he’ll make you cry a lot over the next couple of years.  It’s okay though.  It helps make you the person you become.  I don’t want to ruin the surprise or anything, but in a little over a year you’ll meet the man you’ll marry.
3.       Don’t worry about making mistakes.  You’re a bit of a perfectionist mostly because you don’t want to let your parents down.  It’s okay to make some mistakes.  Not big ones—like ones that will land you a Lifetime Original or an NBC Monday Night movie.  But some are okay.  You put too much pressure on yourself.
4.       You do this already, but I’d like to stress this. Have a lot of fun. You’re 16. Act like it. The memories you’re creating with your friends will last a lifetime. Enjoy every second of living so close to them.  It won’t be long before many of you are in different parts of the country.
Spoiler alert: No matter how much you love NJ, you’re one of the ones that leave. It’s okay but take full advantage of everything NJ has to offer—even being just a train ride away from the greatest city in the world.  One day you will meet a lot of people who have never been to NYC but “always wanted to go.”
5.       Save some money. You’re spoiled and for birthdays, Christmas, and graduations, you get a lot of money. Don’t blow it all.  At the very least, take half and put it in a savings account. Don’t touch it. You may need it while in college or even further down the road.
6.       And most importantly, know that you’re beautiful. You’re about to embark on a rather awkward stage. You’ll come out the other end, a bit of a knockout FYI. But without me telling you this, you won’t know it. You’re self image isn’t terrible but it isn’t as good as it should be. Stop comparing yourself to others around you and stop letting boys’ “disinterest” in you dictate how you feel about yourself.  Even just 12 short years from now, you’ll work pretty hard to try to get that teenage body back. Appreciate it while you have it.

Now you know what I know.

xoxo,

28-year-old Me

I won’t sign my current last name so that I don’t give anything away

PS. Apple Computers and Google. Invest some of that saved money in these. Seriously.

I encourage you to do the same and write a letter.  It was fun.  I even sent it to the website and it's posted on there.  They titled it "Obsessed with Rob Thomas" which is funny because if you know me, my title is more "Obsessed with Mariah Carey".  But since Rob Thomas did write a letter in the book, who knows, maybe he'll somehow read the entry.

Other updates:

I've become obsessed with Revenge (the show, not the act).  

We saw the Music Box Theater's Christmas show, Fruitcakes! and it was fabulous!  This is the second show we've seen of theirs and they did not disappoint.  If you're in Houston and haven't seen them, I highly recommend going to a show.  

My in-laws came and went for Christmas and my dad is here now.  

The Houston Texans are in the playoffs--which is very exciting for the city and their fans as it is their first time in franchise history.  

And most importantly, the NY Giants won the division when everyone picked them to be at the bottom.  GO BIG BLUE!  Rooting for a run like in '07 :)  

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and here's to a great 2012!

 

Back from NJ

The following is an accurate list of every city/town I made it to while on my trip to NJ from November 19 at about 1 PM EST to November 26 at 9 AM EST:

Newark - Plainfield - Madison - Cranford - Metuchen - Plainfield - Chatham - Summit - Chatham - Metuchen - Plainfield - Brooklyn - Clark - Cranford - East Rutherford - Plainfield - Fanwood - Union - Newark - Scotch Plains - Asbury Park - Scotch Plains - Plainfield - Manhattan - Fords - Cranford - Roselle Park - Cranford - Kenilworth - Cranford - Old Bridge - Garwood - Plainfield - Westfield - Cranford - Garwood - Piscataway - Matawan - Sayreville - Clark - Cranford - Newark

It was crazy but it was a blast.  I miss NJ so much.  I knew this would happen.  I knew that if I went home for an extended period of time that my homesickness would come back with a vengeance.

Other than missing being a heartbeat away from the greatest city in the world and the 'burbs I once knew like the back of my hand, this trip made me genuinely miss the support system I had there.  And this is going to blow you away, I'm including Hubby's side of the family with that statement.

I miss watching football on Sunday with my dad.

I miss having friends that I can just call on a whim and go shopping or go grab a bite to eat with them.

I miss monthly game nights with a group of friends that made me laugh until my stomach hurt.

I miss running into people I know or once knew while at the store.  Although I do take full advantage of not having to worry about this here, and definitely run to the store in questionable attire/appearance.

I miss being there for life changing events in friends and family's lives.  I have one friend that is engaged and two that are pregnant.  I want to be there for these moments, and not just the big ones.  I want to be there for all the little steps along the way.

So we have a big beautiful house here.  Trust me, it's big and beautiful.  Something that I could have never imagined owning in NJ.  But is it worth giving all that up?

After over three years here, sometimes I still feel very alone.

And that's your Debbie Downer Thursday post.........

No, Not My Hometown!

The other day, in honor of my home state, I posted some pictures that I took of the Jersey Shore.  The warnings were severe for Irene. There were mandatory evacuations throughout the state.  Now that I live in the Gulf, I was hesitant to believe all the hype.  Was it really going to be that bad or was the media sensationalizing it for ratings? I couldn't decide.  The more I thought about it though, the more I defended the East Coast.

Yes, when it "snows" (read that as light dusting) in Houston, I've laughed how the entire city shuts down.  But this last winter, which was brutal for everyone but in particular hit the East Coast pretty hard, someone pointed out that Houston doesn't have anything to prepare for big snowfall.  So, yeah, the city shuts down for just over an inch of snow but there's no way to plow/salt the roads and there are A LOT of inexperienced snow drivers in the area.  It finally hit me.  Pretty much, Houston has to shut down.

 Internet Photo. I couldn't resist a Houston dog sitting in snow.

Yes, Northeasterners, this is what I'm referencing that shuts down the city.

But I repeat, if not prepared, what else should we expect?

Well, the same can be said for the parts of the East Coast that were hit with Irene.  I never knew what hurricane season was until I moved to the Gulf.  There's no preparation back home like there is here.  We have supplies for a hurricane in our house; we have hurricane boards measured for our windows; we will soon have a generator.  These concepts were completely foreign to me until I moved here--and I'm typically prepared for the unexpected!

I spent most of Saturday defending the evacuations and reactions of the East Coast.  "Sure Manhattan evacuated, it IS an island!"  "This isn't something that typically happens. They're not prepared." Etc, etc, etc.

We watched the coverage on Saturday night.  Irene seemed to be a bit less of a bitch than originally thought.  She hit North Carolina at a Category 1.  Knowing that Ike was a Category 3--while yes, it was severe, it wasn't as bad as it could have been--I assumed this meant the East Coast was relatively safe.

By the time I woke up Sunday morning, I had essentially pushed it out of my head.  And then I started trolling Facebook.  That's when I saw this picture of the Garden State Parkway at the exit that runs through my hometown.

 Internet Photo. The shot that made me realize how bad Irene had hit the town I love most in the world.

I had never seen the Parkway flood before.  I started to panic.  I called my father and found out that his house was under water.  He went through a wide range of emotions in the short time we were on the phone. Anger. Sadness. Acceptance. He said that he was one of the "lucky" ones on his block because the water didn't hit his first floor.  At the time I spoke with him, the water was a foot shy of the first floor and he wasn't sure if it was going to continue to rise.  He told me that the water went way farther out than Hurricane Floyd.

 File Photo. My father's house.

He took this as a neighbor was canoeing him over to the house to see the damage.

I started calling friends.  Most of my friends are out of my hometown now but their parents still live in the houses they grew up in.  These are the houses I know. The ones that we have so many memories in.  Some friends were spared.  Others were not.

 Internet Photo. Of all the shots I saw online, this one I found the most chilling.

The river just expanded all the way through town.

The police station had to be evacuated.

I went online this morning and looked through photos of my hometown.  It was really sad to see.  I think that it's normal to have a genuine love for where you grew up.  But I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes when I looked at the downtown.  I grew up in such a wonderful place and although I decided to move away (Note: this choice was made due to circumstances. It's still my favorite place on Earth), it broke my heart to see the town in so much despair.  There are supposed to be generations after me making their own memories on the same wonderful streets.

Irene may not be categorized as a Katrina or an Ike but for the families back home, it's all too real destruction.  If you happen to be reading this from a place that typically gets hit by severe hurricanes, please understand that there are a lot of small towns that make up the Mid-Atlantic and New England. Sure, New York City didn't get hit as badly as everyone feared, and that seems to be what the national news is reporting. But remember, there are a lot of people in those small towns that did get hit really hard.  My heart goes out to them--those I know and those I've never crossed paths with.

A Love Story

Cross the river to the Jersey side
Take my baby to the carnival
And I'll take her on all the rides
'Cause down the shore everything's all right
"Jersey Girl" Performed by Bruce Springsteen

I fell in love when I was a very young girl.  Maybe some would have said that I was too young to fall in love, but I did.  I fell hard. 

  File photo. Me at about 3 already madly in love with the Jersey Shore.

It was easy to fall in love with NJ.  Sure, it was all I knew but it was all I wanted to know.  As a kid, I got to spend summers down the shore and in the pool and winters playing in the snow.  I rode my bike and played outside for hours in the spring and fall.  All my friends were in walking distance.  The town where I grew up had a center where we hung out as teenagers.  We ate at diners and pizzerias.  We had season passes to Great Adventure.  I hopped on the train to get to the greatest city in the world, NYC.  I root for the Giants and the Yankees--don't you dare confuse me for someone that roots for the Jets and/or the Mets.  And most importantly, for the first 25 years of my life I NEVER pumped my own gas!

 File photo. This is what fall looks like.

I had a brief affair with California during my pre-teen years.  My grandmother lived in San Francisco at the time.  I was almost a 49ers fan--still love Steve Young!  I was convinced I would go to USC for college.  But I grew out of it.  California was just puppy love. What I have with NJ is true love.

Throw your stereotypes out the window.  I never met a soul from NJ that says "Joisey"; that's a Staten Island thing.  I have a little accent but nothing like the ones you hear on TV.  Don't ask me to say dog, talk, call, or coffee and you'll never know where I'm from.

I made a decision with the man I love that I would leave the only place I knew, the place I loved.  I was supposed to be the girl that never left.  I liked that.  But the love of my life was in Houston and I wanted to be in the same state as him for the first time in our relationship.  I did most of my packing within 2 days before leaving.  I am not the type to procrastinate.  I just thought the longer I put it off the less likely it was that I would be leaving.  The day before I left, with 5 people in my apartment--including my future husband--I locked myself in the bathroom and balled my eyes out.

Of course, I wasn't just leaving the only place I loved but I was leaving a lot of people I loved.  I went to college 17 miles away from my home.  My parents are two of my best friends in the world.  I saw them several times a week.  How was I going to leave them 1500 miles behind?

It was something I wanted to do.  Even more so, probably something I needed to do.

I was definitely in shock when I got to Houston in September '08.  Partially because a week and a half later Hurricane Ike, the most devastating hurricane to hit the city in over 20 years, hit Houston/Galveston.  But even after that, I was still in shock.  I didn't have a job.  I was surrounded by highways, rather than small towns.  The Gulf coast is VERY different from the Jersey shore.  Oh, and Houston is noticeably flat.  Who notices that, right?  Trust me.  The only hills around here are the ones that are man-made.  There are only 2 seasons, summer and fall.  Natives will tell you differently but trust me, that's it.

I spent my first Christmas Eve locked in a closet, crying, and calling my mother.  That was nice of me, make sure I drag my mother into it.

In January, I found a job and after some time, I started making friends.  With friends, I started to become less home sick.  Houston wasn't replacing home but it was starting to become another one.  In July, we were married in NJ, of course.  And by August, we had our first child.  We adopted Nikki, an American Bulldog mix, from a local rescue.  My father spent Thanksgiving with me that year--our first holiday that we had woken up together for since I was a young child.  Christmas was hard again but not locking myself in the closet was an improvement.

 File photo. Nikki (left) & Stella (right). 

Finally found an excuse to post a picture of my girls.

Expect more of these.

By February, we brought home our 2nd child, Nikki's littermate, Stella.  Now we were in an 2-bedroom second floor apartment with two large dogs (50 & 75 lbs at the time).  It is easy to love Texas in the winter.  Beautiful weather for 6 months. Windows opened for nearly that entire time.  No bugs.  My husband and I talked about how it would be so much easier for us to make a life here than in NJ--the original plan had always been to go back--because of the cost of living.  We started eyeing the prices of homes and couldn't believe how much we could get for so little.  We decided it was best for our children for us to stay.  So we began a search for a house.

We found one in May, closed on it in June, and moved in in July '10.  Our home is beautiful.  Sometimes I still look around in amazement about what we are living in at such a young age.  I haven't been homesick for NJ in a long time.

Then we went back to NJ last month for a friend's wedding and spent 2 days down the shore.  Being on beach did it.  For the first time, in a long time, I had that feeling in my gut. The one that says 'How is this not my home anymore? How are my kids not going to experience this?'  I dropped a bomb on my husband a couple of weeks ago.  I told him that I want to go back.  He was shocked.  I haven't talked like that in a long time.  I think he thinks it's a phase and it will go away.  Who knows, maybe it will.  He's ignored the fact that I said that.  He does that when he doesn't know how to handle a situation. He learned that from his family, just ignore uncomfortable situations. No need to address them.

File photo. From July trip. Beautiful Jersey water in the morning.

Whoever came up with Dirty Jersey never went to the Gulf.

Sorry, Gulf, but look what you're up against.

File photo. From July trip.

"Crowded" Jersey shore.  

Anyone from NJ can tell you this is a SLOW day!

File photo. Seaside boardwalk at night. From July trip.

It's almost like a break up.  I have to take one day at a time.  If I won't be with NJ today, I can handle it.  If I think that I'll never be with NJ again, it becomes overwhelming and I want it back.  Who knows what the future will hold.  I never would have thought that at 28 I would have lived in Texas for 3 years!  It still sounds unbelievable to me.

Whether we ever go back to NJ or not, the one thing that is undeniable is that I am a Jersey Girl through and through. Where I live will never change that.

One last thing about NJ, it is NOT shaped like a sock! 'Nuf said.

On a totally unrelated note, I had a dream last night where I was listening to New Kids on the Block, and I woke up with Cover Girl stuck in my head. Awesome.

Hello, Hump Day!

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It Definitely Feels Like a Monday

Well, I've been thinking about this a long time and I've decided that today's the day I will start writing a blog.  What's the theme, you ask. Well, having grown up when Seinfeld ruled the television, I would have to say it is a blog about nothing.

I want to use this space to write about anything and everything that comes to my mind.  If I cook a great recipe or just find one for that matter, I will post it.  If I read something really juicy on TMZ, I'm going to talk about it here. If I get into a fight with my husband, I'm going to vent here.  Nothing's off limits--one of the main reasons I wanted this to be anonymous and why I do not intend to give my friends the link right away.

I started writing an expanded version of the About Me section but it was taking too long. If you follow this blog, it will all come. So, how about I start at the beginning. I'll tell you how a true Jersey Girl ended up in Texas.

As mentioned, I fell in love. The short story is I met this ridiculously hot guy while I was working a part time high school job at a party store. He quit; I still pined for him. And when, I was the only one left of my friends to not have a date for the senior prom, a close girlfriend of mine picked up the phone and asked him. YES, my friend asked him out for me. Well, it all worked out.  We had a great time and spent the summer before college falling in love.  I went to school in NJ and he went to school in GA.  We kept it going--in fact, it was easy for us.  We had some growing pains and broke up for a brief time while he was finishing school and after I had graduated.  When he was done, he was recruited by an oil refinery in the 'burbs of Houston. He missed me, I missed him, and after a teary-eyed screaming match, we decided to take it slow and consider getting back together. That was a Wednesday. Sunday, we were an item.

 Real file photo. This is our 3rd date at my Senior Prom.

Maybe without eyes, you can't see how ridiculously ecstatic I am.

I have no regrets from this photo--still love the dress, still love the man.

The backdrop is questionable but I didn't have a choice on that one!

So I came to Houston to be with him--after I got the engagement ring of course. I may let my heart lead the way, but I'm not stupid! I left my family behind and what was left of my friends (after 10 years out of high school, a lot of my close friends are now scattered across the country).  I was greeted by Hurricane Ike--a story for another day.  We struggled at first because we were so good at being in a long distance relationship, we weren't really sure how to be under the same roof. Hell, we had never even spent significant amounts of time in the same state by that point in our relationship!

 Real file photo. Our gorgeous wedding day. July '09 in NJ.

So here I am. In Houston. Blogging.  I hope you enjoy all my misadventures!

And, yes, if you're wondering about my title for today's post, it definitely feels like a Monday.