Here's another way my in-laws screwed up my husband. Well, let's be honest. This is another way my MIL screwed up my husband.
Can I digress for a minute? What is with the mother-son relationship? I know I don't have a child yet so maybe I can't speak, but I don't know a single man that has a healthy relationship with his mother. Ugghhh...
So, I've mentioned it before. My husband is ridiculously sensitive. And not in the hunky dark and damaged way. No, in the whiny I-have-to-watch-every-single-word-out-of-my-mouth way. I assume this has to do with not getting enough love as a child or not being hugged enough or not getting enough attention (or being loved too much as a child or being hugged too much or getting too much attention--although my hunch would be the first list in his scenario).
We've been together for 10 years now. However, spending the first 7 years apart meant that I didn't see this side of him for a long time. It was sexy that when we were leaving each other at the airport and his eyes filled with tears. I was under the impression he was acting this way because he was just so much in love with me.
Nope. When I moved to Texas and we moved in together, I found out that his really mature way to resolve fights was to stop speaking to me for DAYS at a time. This made for an even lonelier time during my loneliest time.
Why do I bring this up today? Especially the day after I tweeted how excited I was that we were going to have a date night and celebrate our 10th anniversary (we officially started dating 9/10/2001).
The day started like it was going to be super romantic. He said we should go out to dinner, a fancy dinner. My pick. Wow, this is going to be good, right?
Well, I picked the Melting Pot. We hadn't been there in a while, it's one of my favorites, and I've been begging to go for over a year.
Since we were heading into Houston, I wanted to do something fun there--not just travel for dinner and come back. So I promptly went online and found The Music Box Theater. We had the whole night planned.
When it was time to go, I was still about 15 minutes away from being ready. Side note: I have NEVER been this girl. I was always the one waiting on all my other friends. This started about a year ago. I told my husband he might want to give me fake times from now on.
So we were on the road late. Whoops. We went to the theater picked up our tickets and headed to dinner. We got there about 20 minutes late. Our waiter was awesome. I thought we were making great time. And then, he hands us the dessert menu--the real reason we're here. I check my phone (because who wears a watch anymore?). It's 7:30. Yikes! We need to leave now. Well, the awesome part was that our waiter gave us a rain check for the dessert. PHEW! We paid and then sped away.
We went to the show at The Music Box Theater. And let me tell you, it was AWESOME! The troupe was funny. They were talented. To say we were entertained for 2 hours is an understatement. You could hear my husband after many songs say, wow and there were times that I laughed so hard I cried. My cheeks hurt at the end of the night from smiling and laughing so much. If you haven't figured it out yet, I highly recommend the show and definitely plan to be back for all their next shows.
When it was over, we hopped back into the car and headed back to the Melting Pot for dessert. We chatted about the show on our way. We sat down in the restaurant and all of a sudden, my husband wasn't talking to me. Whaaaat? I had no idea what happened. I tried to make conversation. But when it's one sided, it can only last so long. So we sat for most of dessert in awkward silence. Awkward silence?? We're celebrating 10 years together. We should be able to talk about paint drying and still be able to carry on a conversation.
I looked him straight in the eyes and I said, "Did I say something? Are you mad at me? I really don't understand what's going on here." FYI, I'm a bit of a straight-shooter. He mumbled, no. After more of this awkwardness, I asked him, "Are you tired? You're like a completely different person from before." No. That second no is the one that means, Yes, I'm mad at you but I'm not talking to you so don't try to blame this silence on me being tired.
Well, I STILL have no idea what happened. I racked my brain. Here are my two options that could have spurred this:
- There was a bit with "Judy Garland" and "Liza Minnelli" during the show. My husband told me that he didn't get it. So I had to explain that they were mother and daughter. I was a little surprised that he didn't know this. So if at any point in my explanation, I said, 'oh, you didn't know that' it becomes that I'm a condescending bitch. But I don't remember saying anything like that in my explanation but as you can see, I could have said anything and the meaning can be construed to just about anything.
- There was no parking near the restaurant so we had to park pretty far. I was wearing these killer 5" heels. Oh, they are they sexiest shoes I have ever owned! I digress. So, as he parked, he asked, "Is this okay?" It didn't really bother me. The restaurant is in a strip mall and we were like 2 stores over. The problem was there was a HUGE crack in the pavement in the spot that neither of us saw. When I got out, I [almost] took a pretty bad tumble. Totally twisted my ankle (not the permanent damage way though). So I think I mumbled something like, "Oh, yeah, great spot. I almost killed myself." Now please understand, I was mad at the SPOT not him. He didn't see it. I didn't see it as I was stepping out into it. No what I've learned over these last 3 years, I might have hurt his feeling with that statement. You know, the one I made while my ankle was throbbing. Awesome.
It was too late. I was pissed. He took a really romantic dinner and a really fun night and honestly, ruined it for me. If you had to sit across from that puss he was making, trust me, you'd feel the same way. PS That silent treatment/sit around with a puss on my face comes from his mother. This is exactly how she resolves issues too. Really excited about signing up for that fun trait.
When we got home and started getting ready for bed, I asked him one last time. What was with you tonight? "Sometimes you have to understand that your sarcastic comments really bother me." Whaaaat? again! Please remember, from the time we were talking to the time he abruptly stopped, all we discussed was the show. THE SHOW. Or the parking spot. These are not topics I think warrant getting feelings hurt.
And to boot, I was right. He looked me right in the eyes at dessert, lied to me, and continued to ruin my night. My only comfort in dealing with this crap is that I truly believe he's preparing me for CHILDREN. Ugghhh!
So that's how my really romantic husband--who yes, I love dearly but am really not liking him right now--ruined our 10th anniversary. Awesome.
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