I Used to Write Poetry

I wrote this late Sunday night.  Ironically, it's almost poetic. <--- Don't read that as groundbreaking or talented. I'm just saying it has a flow to it like poetry.


My husband had never seen Basketball Diaries, so we watched that tonight. I've seen it before. It's a pretty good movie. Something he definitely should have seen. And let's be honest, my crush on Leonardo DiCaprio has only gotten bigger over all these years.


I couldn't help but think while watching it, I used to write poetry.


I used to write poetry.


I used to draw.


I used to be so creative.

When did I stop? Why did I stop?


Is this one of those awful side effects to being an adult?  All of a sudden I had to stop being creative.


I can't believe I stopped writing poetry.  I used to be really proud of the poetry I wrote.  I used to think it was such a great way to express myself.


Why don't I write poetry any more?  Why aren't I creative any more?


I just let this part of me disappear. I never fought for it. I just let it go.


In a lot of ways, I haven't changed at all.  But in a lot of different ways, I can't even recognize myself.


Oh, this life crisis is really getting to me.

Well, to continue on int his fight for creativity, I bought some sketch pads and charcoal and drew this last night:

 This is my version of the Born to Run album cover.

It's something I wanted to do since the Big Man passed away.

Last night, I finally did it. 

So in the last month, in my quest to bring creativity back to my life, I started a blog, signed up for a photography class, and began drawing again.  I might just be heading in the right direction.

Update to Fresh Start... Again: In week 2, I LOST .2 pounds. That was one of the first times ever in my life I saw that size fraction of a pound and was so happy/proud of myself.  This is the whole point of what I'm doing. I want to celebrate the little things and be proud of myself for them. Last week, I was proud I lost .2 pounds. And I was even more proud of myself for being proud of myself.

Still No Clue What I Want to be When I Grow Up

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
 George Eliot

At 28, I might be going through some sort of life crisis.  I pretty much have a new idea of what I want to be when I grow up once a week.  There are a core few that I always return to, but let's be honest. I don't know too many kids that say "When I grow up, I want to be a recruiter!"

The only thing I've ever wanted to be was a mother. Well, that and an Academy Award winning actress. So career dreams were pushed aside.  I always knew that my work was never going to be as important to me as my family.  I guess it was hard to motivate myself to focus on a career knowing that if I ever needed to, I would drop it in a second.

So, one of the things that I always go back to is a photographer.  It varies what kind of a photographer--usually either a wedding photographer or a photojournalist or of course, a celebrity photographer (like Annie Leibovitz not like a paparazza).

I've had a passion for photography for a long time.  I took classes with a wonderful teacher in high school.  I learned a lot and had a lot of fun.  As soon as I started taking photography classes, I began to see everything in pictures.  I see the shot in every scenario, but unfortunately, I don't have my camera with me all the time and miss a lot of the good ones.

I brought my camera with me this weekend and took some pictures while on the St. Arnold's Galveston Pub Crawl.  The lighting in this bar was so cool and I knew that someone without a background in photography wouldn't appreciate it.  The pictures below were taken naturally, no filters or manipulation after the fact.

File photos. What do you think? Any raw talent there?

I've always been creative--please do not mistake creative for talented. After starting college with plans to study Math, I told my mother that I wanted to study photography. Let's just say during our screaming match, I wasn't too far from being left on the side of the NJ Turnpike.  I understand she was only doing what she thought was best for me. That's a tale for another day...

Today, I signed up for a photography class.  It's another intro. Last I took a photography class was 7 years ago. I can use the refresher.  Once I signed up today, I became really excited.  I'd really like to hone my skills and hopefully even learn to take good pictures of humans (currently my specialties are landscapes and pet photography).
 
So, maybe I can be a photographer when I grow up...

I also have a wedding planner venture going on--even have a client.

Oh, and I came up with an idea for a really great website. I just need to come up with a business plan.

And not sure if you heard, but I'm also giving writing a try.  Once I'm discovered, I have THE BEST name for my memoir. I'm keeping that one just for me though.

So this is my somewhere between quarter-life and mid-life crisis.  I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life... or at least until babies come along.

TANGENT/SHAMELESS PLUG: I got to thinking how this class could possibly be another Fresh Start... Again. And since I brought it up, for those of you wondering, I did lose some weight in my first week of doing it my way. It was less than a pound and I'm really proud of myself! I'm just going to keep on keeping on. 

Finally just for fun:
I wanna have boobies... Yeah, I went there. And, by the way, I'm not as big of a PCD fan as my blog makes seem to be!