Have you ever been invited to someone's house and have them ask you to bring dinner?
No?
Well, as of this week, I have.
We have these friends that Hubby went to college with. They're a lovely couple except that they're low talkers and the husband is a bit of a know-it-all. Although, if you already know this about him, you sort of know what you're getting yourself into when hanging out with him and it's not that big of deal. My only other complaint is that the husband can be a little socially, umm, retarded.
I'll tell you though, he's an engineer. And as a woman who married an engineer and has A LOT of engineers walk in and out of her life, I am well aware that they can be a bit socially awkward. Luckily, Hubby is on the lesser end of the socially awkward spectrum, but he sure has his moments.
Well, this guy falls a little further on the spectrum. He's completely harmless and I get that. He's a little exhausting but I know plenty of people that I can say that for.
But then this week, he stole the cake.
He nicely invited us over to watch Hubby's college play a pretty big game that for a change was being nationally televised. I accepted for us and made the mistake of asking if we should bring anything.
Before I get to what we were asked, let me tell you this. This guy always makes very specific requests. Hubby and I typically get a good laugh out of it. One time, we asked this question and we were told to bring guacamole. Not, bring some dip or bring something to snack on before dinner. It was "Stop and pick up some guacamole." Again, let me be clear. He wasn't asking us to make some of my "famous guacamole that everyone just raves about" because a) that doesn't really exist--although I do make it and it is delicious and b) we received this request as we were walking out of the door.
So back to this time, I asked the question and his response was (paraphrased) "Wings would be nice. We're going to make that cheese dip that [Hubby] likes."
Umm, did he really just say "Bring dinner and we'll have one snack here that your husband likes but that you don't"? I was stunned. I was just asked to provide dinner for someone else's get together.
Something you should know about me. I love to host. And I mean LOVE it. Every reason there is to get everyone to my home, I will gladly do it. I always cook enough for an army (true) and my Hubby always has enough to drink for an army. I will have something of everything because my big [hosting] fear is that someone will leave my house hungry. People ask me if they can bring anything when the come over but they always already know the answer. No, I'll have plenty of food.
The funny part is that this guy NEVER has enough food to feed half the amount of people that are at his house. I guess his big [hosting] fear is to have leftovers. I had already planned to have dinner before we went over and when Hubby asked why, he quickly agreed when I told him there was no chance they'd have enough food.
But then, I got the request. "Can you please bring dinner to my party?" Nuts. Just nuts.
Well, as an awesome host and a spiteful person, I refused to bring it. I told him we were going to eat dinner before and I was just wondering if he wanted us to bring any game time snacks. I never heard back from him. I'm sure there were some words spoken about me behind my back. OH WELL. They aren't the first and they won't be the last.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
There's a [Slight] Chance I [May] Have Figured Out What I Want to Be When I Grow Up [Maybe]
I did it! I did it!
Last weekend, I was a wedding planner. And it was awesome!
As mentioned in previous posts, since I was a teenager I aspired to be like Jennifer Lopez. Well, Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner. Although, my behind has always been a little JLo.
I digress.
I'm not sure if I mentioned it before but my last job was awful. I was very miserable in the role and honestly, I was knocking on depression's door. I had to do something to get out, so I figured I'd do something to put me in the direction of my dream. I posted an ad on CraigsList and laid all my cards on the table. I had little experience beyond planning my own wedding but if someone would take a chance on me, I would plan their wedding for free.
I got a call.
I knew from the beginning this was a really great situation for me. I spoke with Bride originally in March and she sounded super organized. Actually, she sounded a lot like me. She didn't want to give up any part of the wedding planning but recognized she needed help staying organized on the day of her wedding. That's where I would come in. Her wedding wasn't until November but I offered to help her every way that I could in the meantime.
I met her a couple of times in September and October so that we could figure out how the day should go. I created a timeline. Even just that felt like such a great accomplishment. I was doing it!
Last Friday afternoon, I headed to Houston to attend the rehearsal. I was out of my element there. Everyone in the wedding had these big personalities and their were small children running wild in the church--this was one of the reasons I did NOT have small children in my wedding. The truth was I really went because I wanted to get a feel for it. Chances were I wasn't going to be at the church for the ceremony. There was a chance that I would be able to stop by while the women were getting ready but beyond that it was in the wedding party's hands.
I woke up on Saturday at 6:30 AM, earlier than I do on a work day. I showered, got ready (I only every do my makeup on occasions I think I need to look like a grown up), and ate a filling breakfast. I grabbed my AWESOME emergency kit that I put together the night before and away I went.
I made it to the reception hall at 9 AM moments before Bride. It was a really neat venue, an old fire station converted into a hall. There was a large piece of plywood where there should be a beautiful custom door. It was in the center of the room where the cocktail hour was to be held. And in my first moments as a wedding planner, I had a bride have a meltdown.
I didn't have to face the meltdown on my own. There was a group of Bride's friends there to help decorate. Together we all talked her off the ledge. We began decorating. Bride was so organized and had such a great eye for party decorations. We put everything out as she had designated.
When we were done decorating the downstairs room, one of the women who had worked at the venue had someone come and drape cloth over the plywood. While this wasn't a wonderful fix, it took away attention from it and Bride was satisfied with the solution.
We headed upstairs and began decorating the reception room. We did everything from the linens to the floral arrangements. It all looked beautiful!
As we were wrapping it up, Bride mentioned that she had to run to Kinko's to get the signs made for the reception. Whaaaat?? I explained to her that was why I was there. It took some convincing but she handed this task over to me. Yes, one of my first successes as a wedding planner.
Away the bridal party went to lunch and away I went to Kinko's.
I stopped in on the bride while she was getting her hair done. Then I went back to the reception hall and began meeting all the vendors.
First, the baker arrived and delivered the cake.
Second, the DJ arrived.
Third, the photographer arrived.
Finally, I ran to get a bite to eat. No matter how busy I am, I never miss a meal! I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner on my wedding day even when everyone told me I wouldn't get a bite. Yeah, those people don't know me.
I came back to the reception hall to meet the caterer at 4 PM.
4:05 PM No caterer
4:10 PM I called the number I had for the caterer. No answer. I left a message politely asking if they needed directions.
4:15 PM I began to panic. See, I had trouble getting a hold of the caterer to confirm they were coming. When I Googled the company, it came up that the owner marked the business as closed. But she called and confirmed earlier that week so I disregarded what came up in the Google search. I was NOT prepared to deal with the caterer not showing up for my very first wedding. Pure panic.
4:25 PM A young man came in and told me that he was one of the waiters and the caterer was on her way.
PHEW!!!
Late, but phew!
I never made it to the church because I had to essentially babysit the caterer. But that's what I signed up for, right? When needed, I will be a babysitter for whoever needs it.
At the stroke of 6 PM, guests began to arrive for the cocktail hour. AND IT BEGAN!
Everything went relatively smoothly. At one point, I had to run out and get plastic knives. Overall the caterer was a disaster. Right down to that they did not bring any knives. As I was LITERALLY running into Kroger, I thought, "Yeah, I LOVE this."
At the end of the night, a group of friends, family, and I cleaned everything up. By this point, I was exhausted. I panicked one last time. I thought it would take us hours to get everything cleaned up and packed away in their cars. But I pulled myself together and began working as fast as I could. In just an hour, we had everything cleaned up and I made it home at about 12:45 AM.
Long day but totally worth it.
So this experiment worked. I loved it! I just have to figure out how to get more clients now. I'm on it!
Last weekend, I was a wedding planner. And it was awesome!
As mentioned in previous posts, since I was a teenager I aspired to be like Jennifer Lopez. Well, Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner. Although, my behind has always been a little JLo.
I digress.
I'm not sure if I mentioned it before but my last job was awful. I was very miserable in the role and honestly, I was knocking on depression's door. I had to do something to get out, so I figured I'd do something to put me in the direction of my dream. I posted an ad on CraigsList and laid all my cards on the table. I had little experience beyond planning my own wedding but if someone would take a chance on me, I would plan their wedding for free.
I got a call.
I knew from the beginning this was a really great situation for me. I spoke with Bride originally in March and she sounded super organized. Actually, she sounded a lot like me. She didn't want to give up any part of the wedding planning but recognized she needed help staying organized on the day of her wedding. That's where I would come in. Her wedding wasn't until November but I offered to help her every way that I could in the meantime.
I met her a couple of times in September and October so that we could figure out how the day should go. I created a timeline. Even just that felt like such a great accomplishment. I was doing it!
Last Friday afternoon, I headed to Houston to attend the rehearsal. I was out of my element there. Everyone in the wedding had these big personalities and their were small children running wild in the church--this was one of the reasons I did NOT have small children in my wedding. The truth was I really went because I wanted to get a feel for it. Chances were I wasn't going to be at the church for the ceremony. There was a chance that I would be able to stop by while the women were getting ready but beyond that it was in the wedding party's hands.
I woke up on Saturday at 6:30 AM, earlier than I do on a work day. I showered, got ready (I only every do my makeup on occasions I think I need to look like a grown up), and ate a filling breakfast. I grabbed my AWESOME emergency kit that I put together the night before and away I went.
I made it to the reception hall at 9 AM moments before Bride. It was a really neat venue, an old fire station converted into a hall. There was a large piece of plywood where there should be a beautiful custom door. It was in the center of the room where the cocktail hour was to be held. And in my first moments as a wedding planner, I had a bride have a meltdown.
I didn't have to face the meltdown on my own. There was a group of Bride's friends there to help decorate. Together we all talked her off the ledge. We began decorating. Bride was so organized and had such a great eye for party decorations. We put everything out as she had designated.
When we were done decorating the downstairs room, one of the women who had worked at the venue had someone come and drape cloth over the plywood. While this wasn't a wonderful fix, it took away attention from it and Bride was satisfied with the solution.
We headed upstairs and began decorating the reception room. We did everything from the linens to the floral arrangements. It all looked beautiful!
As we were wrapping it up, Bride mentioned that she had to run to Kinko's to get the signs made for the reception. Whaaaat?? I explained to her that was why I was there. It took some convincing but she handed this task over to me. Yes, one of my first successes as a wedding planner.
Away the bridal party went to lunch and away I went to Kinko's.
I stopped in on the bride while she was getting her hair done. Then I went back to the reception hall and began meeting all the vendors.
First, the baker arrived and delivered the cake.
Second, the DJ arrived.
Third, the photographer arrived.
Finally, I ran to get a bite to eat. No matter how busy I am, I never miss a meal! I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner on my wedding day even when everyone told me I wouldn't get a bite. Yeah, those people don't know me.
I came back to the reception hall to meet the caterer at 4 PM.
4:05 PM No caterer
4:10 PM I called the number I had for the caterer. No answer. I left a message politely asking if they needed directions.
4:15 PM I began to panic. See, I had trouble getting a hold of the caterer to confirm they were coming. When I Googled the company, it came up that the owner marked the business as closed. But she called and confirmed earlier that week so I disregarded what came up in the Google search. I was NOT prepared to deal with the caterer not showing up for my very first wedding. Pure panic.
4:25 PM A young man came in and told me that he was one of the waiters and the caterer was on her way.
PHEW!!!
Late, but phew!
I never made it to the church because I had to essentially babysit the caterer. But that's what I signed up for, right? When needed, I will be a babysitter for whoever needs it.
At the stroke of 6 PM, guests began to arrive for the cocktail hour. AND IT BEGAN!
Everything went relatively smoothly. At one point, I had to run out and get plastic knives. Overall the caterer was a disaster. Right down to that they did not bring any knives. As I was LITERALLY running into Kroger, I thought, "Yeah, I LOVE this."
At the end of the night, a group of friends, family, and I cleaned everything up. By this point, I was exhausted. I panicked one last time. I thought it would take us hours to get everything cleaned up and packed away in their cars. But I pulled myself together and began working as fast as I could. In just an hour, we had everything cleaned up and I made it home at about 12:45 AM.
Long day but totally worth it.
So this experiment worked. I loved it! I just have to figure out how to get more clients now. I'm on it!
Monday, October 31, 2011
I Still Have Plenty of Time Before the Trick-or-Treaters Get Here
Let me start with this: What is wrong with kids these days??
When I first found out that I got to dress up in anything I could imagine (SCORE!) and people would give me candy (DOUBLE SCORE!!), it went pretty much something like when Fez found out on That 70s show.
I went ToT-ing all through high school. In fact, the last time I went ToT-ing, I was 24. Yes, you read that right. I had an awesome costume and the kids I was walking with barely dressed up. Since I deserved the candy way more than they did, I started going to the doors with them. Absolutely one of my finest moments. See below.
So, back to kids these days. I don't know if it has something to do with relocating and it's actually Texas kids or if it has to do with the generation, but here are some of my pet peeves about ToT-ers these days/here in Texas:
1. NJ had a snow storm this weekend. Although this is rare, I remember it being SUPER cold on Halloween. This always put a damper on costume selection. What's going to look good with a TON of layers underneath? Also, it has to still look good without the layers because I have to wear it to school too. The current temperature in Houston is 70 degrees and the sun is shining. This is literally what I would have dreamed about when I was a kid. It is now 5:30. No ToT-ers. LAME
Note to kids: To maximize the amount of candy, and isn't that what it's REALLY all about, the earlier you start, the more houses you hit, the more candy you get. That's just simple math.
2. Before we lived in our house in Texas, we lived in an apartment just a few miles up the road in the next town over. My first Halloween in Houston went something like this (keep in mind I was unemployed at the time): Hubby warned me that we wouldn't get any ToT-ers. I insisted this was true of his first Halloween here because he must have been working late, and he missed them. I bought a ton of candy and waited anxiously all day--sort of like kids do to go ToT-ing but I was just really looking forward to getting to see the kids in their costumes. Finally at about 3:30 or so, the school bus pulled up to the front of the complex. Our apartment was in front so I always knew when the kids were coming or going. I watched again anxiously as the kids got off the bus in their costumes. Then I sat and waited by the door. And then waited some more. And then some more. By the time Hubby came home at 6:00, not a single ToT-er came to the house and he found me alone on the couch with the candy bowl almost in tears. I think if you could hear my heart that day it snapped something like a Kit-Kat bar.
Note to kids: Apartments are the MOTHERLOAD. There are more doors in a smaller area. This means MORE candy and LESS working for it. Again, SIMPLE MATH!
I was soon told that Texans do not ToT in apartments. Apparently, the kids here are pretty snobby and don't think they'll get good enough candy slumming it in the poor apartments. They travel to neighborhoods to get their candy.
3. Fast forward to two years later. I was super excited for our first Halloween in our house. We live in a beautiful big neighborhood. I was sure this was going to be so terrific that it would make up for the last 2 years. Halloween was a Sunday and just like this year, the weather was gorgeous. When Halloween fell on the weekend when I was a kid, I spent most of the day begging my mother to let me start and then I'd inevitably go out early in the afternoon. See note: the earlier you leave the more candy you get. Each hour passed by and not a single kid. I eventually brought my candy bowl outside with me and sat on our front stoop. Hubby yelled at me to get back in the house. He said I was looking desperate.
This is when I learned that kids in Texas do not ToT until after dark. I know. I know. I sound like a broken record. But those are precious hours that these children could have been getting FREE candy. It's FREE. ABSOLUTELY FREE. I feel like no one told these kids this.
See last year, I made plans to go out in the evening. I mean Halloween was on a Sunday for Pete's sake! I assumed I'd be out of candy by 4 o'clock. I begged my friend to put her BIRTHDAY dinner on hold for an hour so I could see a couple of kids and she obliged. I saw about five all together. I never left the front stoop.
This year I'm not going anywhere. Hopefully, this will be my year. I went to Sam's Club and bought full size candy bars. I'm hoping the word will spread and my house will be THE place to stop.
Fingers crossed!
When I first found out that I got to dress up in anything I could imagine (SCORE!) and people would give me candy (DOUBLE SCORE!!), it went pretty much something like when Fez found out on That 70s show.
I went ToT-ing all through high school. In fact, the last time I went ToT-ing, I was 24. Yes, you read that right. I had an awesome costume and the kids I was walking with barely dressed up. Since I deserved the candy way more than they did, I started going to the doors with them. Absolutely one of my finest moments. See below.
I mean really, it would have been a shame to NOT go ToT-ing with this costume.
So, back to kids these days. I don't know if it has something to do with relocating and it's actually Texas kids or if it has to do with the generation, but here are some of my pet peeves about ToT-ers these days/here in Texas:
1. NJ had a snow storm this weekend. Although this is rare, I remember it being SUPER cold on Halloween. This always put a damper on costume selection. What's going to look good with a TON of layers underneath? Also, it has to still look good without the layers because I have to wear it to school too. The current temperature in Houston is 70 degrees and the sun is shining. This is literally what I would have dreamed about when I was a kid. It is now 5:30. No ToT-ers. LAME
Note to kids: To maximize the amount of candy, and isn't that what it's REALLY all about, the earlier you start, the more houses you hit, the more candy you get. That's just simple math.
2. Before we lived in our house in Texas, we lived in an apartment just a few miles up the road in the next town over. My first Halloween in Houston went something like this (keep in mind I was unemployed at the time): Hubby warned me that we wouldn't get any ToT-ers. I insisted this was true of his first Halloween here because he must have been working late, and he missed them. I bought a ton of candy and waited anxiously all day--sort of like kids do to go ToT-ing but I was just really looking forward to getting to see the kids in their costumes. Finally at about 3:30 or so, the school bus pulled up to the front of the complex. Our apartment was in front so I always knew when the kids were coming or going. I watched again anxiously as the kids got off the bus in their costumes. Then I sat and waited by the door. And then waited some more. And then some more. By the time Hubby came home at 6:00, not a single ToT-er came to the house and he found me alone on the couch with the candy bowl almost in tears. I think if you could hear my heart that day it snapped something like a Kit-Kat bar.
Note to kids: Apartments are the MOTHERLOAD. There are more doors in a smaller area. This means MORE candy and LESS working for it. Again, SIMPLE MATH!
I was soon told that Texans do not ToT in apartments. Apparently, the kids here are pretty snobby and don't think they'll get good enough candy slumming it in the poor apartments. They travel to neighborhoods to get their candy.
3. Fast forward to two years later. I was super excited for our first Halloween in our house. We live in a beautiful big neighborhood. I was sure this was going to be so terrific that it would make up for the last 2 years. Halloween was a Sunday and just like this year, the weather was gorgeous. When Halloween fell on the weekend when I was a kid, I spent most of the day begging my mother to let me start and then I'd inevitably go out early in the afternoon. See note: the earlier you leave the more candy you get. Each hour passed by and not a single kid. I eventually brought my candy bowl outside with me and sat on our front stoop. Hubby yelled at me to get back in the house. He said I was looking desperate.
This is when I learned that kids in Texas do not ToT until after dark. I know. I know. I sound like a broken record. But those are precious hours that these children could have been getting FREE candy. It's FREE. ABSOLUTELY FREE. I feel like no one told these kids this.
See last year, I made plans to go out in the evening. I mean Halloween was on a Sunday for Pete's sake! I assumed I'd be out of candy by 4 o'clock. I begged my friend to put her BIRTHDAY dinner on hold for an hour so I could see a couple of kids and she obliged. I saw about five all together. I never left the front stoop.
This year I'm not going anywhere. Hopefully, this will be my year. I went to Sam's Club and bought full size candy bars. I'm hoping the word will spread and my house will be THE place to stop.
Fingers crossed!
Friday, October 28, 2011
To Be or Not to Be... Religious, That Is
Is anyone else out there going through an identity crisis? Be it a mid-life crisis, quarter-life crisis, teenage identity crisis.... Wow, I just realized there are a lot of times in life that you can go through an identity crisis.
Well, as you've probably figured out (either by accurately reading that last part or by reading other posts I have written), I am 28 and going through an identity crisis. I guess it's a quarter-life (give or take) crisis.
I suspect it has a lot to do with uprooting myself from the only place I called home, New Jersey, and in turn, was one way I genuinely identified myself. I am a Jersey Girl, through and through. Trust me when I tell you I'm not just saying this. I was the girl that was never going to leave. When I told friends and family that I had made the decision to move to Texas, they weren't just sad to see me go, they were legitimately shocked that I would leave. Sure I say, I'm a Jersey Girl misplaced, but I often have a difficult time fully grasping this concept.
The reason I bring this up today is because Hubby and I had a conversation about religion last weekend.
Didn't see that coming, huh? So, yes, I will discuss religion in my blog. Probably not politics as I don't feel I'm educated enough on the topic. Any other taboos I should cover?
Religion is something I've always struggled with. My parents never really forced me to go to church. I was baptized and there was a stint where I attended Sunday school, but beyond that, it wasn't a big part of my upbringing. We never even said Grace at the Christmas dinner table. Oh, don't forget my father was raised Muslim but had pretty much abandoned it by the time I came around.
My best friend was "very Christian" and even went to a Christian school from K-12. I dated a Jehovah's Witness in high school--something I would not recommend for a high school student unless your beliefs are the same. And, let's be honest, I grew up in NJ so Catholicism was all around me.
And with this all around me, I just couldn't identify myself with any of it. In an attempt to learn as much as I could, I decided to earn a Religion minor in college. Honestly, could there be a more fascinating academic subject?
To me, religion was supposed to be something that came from your heart. I have faith. I believe in a higher power. I'm just not so sure about all the extra stuff that comes along with organized religion. For most of Christianity, you're taught strict lists of right and wrong. There is a list of what-to-do and what-not-to-do. Now if you believe, you can slip up and do what's on the not-to-do list. And as long as you feel sorry/shame because of it and give yourself entirely to your faith, all is forgiven.
I'm okay with this for some things. I can understand deserving a second chance.
What I can't understand it for are the big things. I can't understand how rape and murder, for instance, can all be forgiven just because someone says "Whoops. Shouldn't have done that." To me, this means someone that accepts these teachings but say, killed 10 people including children on a shooting spree gets to go to Heaven and I go to Hell. I never committed any heinous acts. I just questioned the religious system that's in place. That is just too unbelievable to me.
Remember, I've grown up in a time when priests sexually abused little boys, men crashed planes into skyscrapers, and extremists have set off bombs at abortion clinics. And all these things were in the name of their Lord.
Hubby went to a Christian school for grades 7-12. There is a part of him that identifies with that but he doesn't always live it. He hasn't gone to church regularly in over 10 years. I know he feels guilty about it.
But to me that is a direct consequence of organized religion. He doesn't just wake up Sunday morning and go. No, he pines about it and internally struggles with it and inevitably feels guilt, even though he's living a good life in so many other ways.
We've talked on several occasions about what to do with our children. You see, I feel completely comfortable with my beliefs for me, but I am never certain what I should do with my children. I hate the idea of them not embracing religion because I don't and never took them. But I also hate the idea of them essentially being brainwashed, just regurgitating things they heard at church and never actually exploring and understanding it.
Religion can be such a beautiful thing. I truly believe that. In my opinion, it's human nature to need something to turn to in time of crisis and religion fits that bill beautifully. We have friends that suffered one of the most awful things I think anyone can suffer, the loss of a child. These friends also have incredible, and what seems to be unbreakable, faith. They had this community they could turn to in their time of need. They truly believe this all happened as part of God's plan. That is so good... for them.
I do believe in it's most genuine form, it's a wonderful thing. I just really don't know where I fall into all of this.
So Hubby is considering going back to church. But my biggest fear right now is in regards to this identity crisis I'm having. I wouldn't want to go with him to support him and be swept away into it all because of what I'm internally struggling with. Or vice versa, I wouldn't want to bash it and not accept anything that is said based on the fact that I'm just questioning everything right now. I know Hubby thinks this is just a cop out and for someone that just accepts religion as is, I can't really blame him for thinking that. But to me, I want religion and faith to be natural. I don't want it to be a chore or something I'm guilted into. I'd like to have that beautiful relationship with it, but I can't be sure if it's just not the right time or if it's not in me at all.
Well, as you've probably figured out (either by accurately reading that last part or by reading other posts I have written), I am 28 and going through an identity crisis. I guess it's a quarter-life (give or take) crisis.
I suspect it has a lot to do with uprooting myself from the only place I called home, New Jersey, and in turn, was one way I genuinely identified myself. I am a Jersey Girl, through and through. Trust me when I tell you I'm not just saying this. I was the girl that was never going to leave. When I told friends and family that I had made the decision to move to Texas, they weren't just sad to see me go, they were legitimately shocked that I would leave. Sure I say, I'm a Jersey Girl misplaced, but I often have a difficult time fully grasping this concept.
The reason I bring this up today is because Hubby and I had a conversation about religion last weekend.
Didn't see that coming, huh? So, yes, I will discuss religion in my blog. Probably not politics as I don't feel I'm educated enough on the topic. Any other taboos I should cover?
Religion is something I've always struggled with. My parents never really forced me to go to church. I was baptized and there was a stint where I attended Sunday school, but beyond that, it wasn't a big part of my upbringing. We never even said Grace at the Christmas dinner table. Oh, don't forget my father was raised Muslim but had pretty much abandoned it by the time I came around.
My best friend was "very Christian" and even went to a Christian school from K-12. I dated a Jehovah's Witness in high school--something I would not recommend for a high school student unless your beliefs are the same. And, let's be honest, I grew up in NJ so Catholicism was all around me.
And with this all around me, I just couldn't identify myself with any of it. In an attempt to learn as much as I could, I decided to earn a Religion minor in college. Honestly, could there be a more fascinating academic subject?
To me, religion was supposed to be something that came from your heart. I have faith. I believe in a higher power. I'm just not so sure about all the extra stuff that comes along with organized religion. For most of Christianity, you're taught strict lists of right and wrong. There is a list of what-to-do and what-not-to-do. Now if you believe, you can slip up and do what's on the not-to-do list. And as long as you feel sorry/shame because of it and give yourself entirely to your faith, all is forgiven.
I'm okay with this for some things. I can understand deserving a second chance.
What I can't understand it for are the big things. I can't understand how rape and murder, for instance, can all be forgiven just because someone says "Whoops. Shouldn't have done that." To me, this means someone that accepts these teachings but say, killed 10 people including children on a shooting spree gets to go to Heaven and I go to Hell. I never committed any heinous acts. I just questioned the religious system that's in place. That is just too unbelievable to me.
Remember, I've grown up in a time when priests sexually abused little boys, men crashed planes into skyscrapers, and extremists have set off bombs at abortion clinics. And all these things were in the name of their Lord.
Hubby went to a Christian school for grades 7-12. There is a part of him that identifies with that but he doesn't always live it. He hasn't gone to church regularly in over 10 years. I know he feels guilty about it.
But to me that is a direct consequence of organized religion. He doesn't just wake up Sunday morning and go. No, he pines about it and internally struggles with it and inevitably feels guilt, even though he's living a good life in so many other ways.
We've talked on several occasions about what to do with our children. You see, I feel completely comfortable with my beliefs for me, but I am never certain what I should do with my children. I hate the idea of them not embracing religion because I don't and never took them. But I also hate the idea of them essentially being brainwashed, just regurgitating things they heard at church and never actually exploring and understanding it.
Religion can be such a beautiful thing. I truly believe that. In my opinion, it's human nature to need something to turn to in time of crisis and religion fits that bill beautifully. We have friends that suffered one of the most awful things I think anyone can suffer, the loss of a child. These friends also have incredible, and what seems to be unbreakable, faith. They had this community they could turn to in their time of need. They truly believe this all happened as part of God's plan. That is so good... for them.
I do believe in it's most genuine form, it's a wonderful thing. I just really don't know where I fall into all of this.
So Hubby is considering going back to church. But my biggest fear right now is in regards to this identity crisis I'm having. I wouldn't want to go with him to support him and be swept away into it all because of what I'm internally struggling with. Or vice versa, I wouldn't want to bash it and not accept anything that is said based on the fact that I'm just questioning everything right now. I know Hubby thinks this is just a cop out and for someone that just accepts religion as is, I can't really blame him for thinking that. But to me, I want religion and faith to be natural. I don't want it to be a chore or something I'm guilted into. I'd like to have that beautiful relationship with it, but I can't be sure if it's just not the right time or if it's not in me at all.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Misadventures in Playing with my Dogs
After work yesterday, all I wanted to do was watch Sports Night streaming on Netflix. To start from the beginning, I have recently accepted that I have a thing for Aaron Sorkin. It all started with a show called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I LOVED that show. But, it only lasted one season--side note: this also began my love/hate relationship with NBC.
I didn't think much about Sorkin again for several years. Actually, it wasn't until last year to be exact. See my favorite movie of the 2010 was The Social Network, screenplay by Aaron Sorkin. I recognized the love I had for that movie. It was the same I had for Studio 60.
So, I did the next logical thing anyone my age would do. I Googled him. I come to find out that Sorkin also wrote A Few Good Men. Interesting. I already knew about West Wing. But then, I see he wrote one of my favorite movies that I've loved for years, The American President. When I was a teenager, I used to watch this movie over and over again.
This weekend we saw Moneyball. I've wanted to see this movie since the first time I saw the preview. And yes, I wanted to see it even though I am a loyal NY Yankees fan. I love me some true stories. Well, this movie was terrific and then, as the credits rolled, I saw why I enjoyed it so much. "Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin" Of course.
Now, I'm hooked and determined to watch anything his name is tied to, starting with Sports Night, a show I've always read really good things about.
This is where the misadventure starts:
As I was sitting down to put it on, Nikki started crying. She wanted me to play with her. Fair enough. I grabbed my camera (See Below) and went outside with the girls. We played frisbee until the girls were pooped. We turned around to go inside and [please pause for drama effect] the door was locked. Awesome. All I brought outside with me was my trusty camera which in the case, does NOT make phone calls.
I walked around to the garage and was able to open it this time (you may remember this time when I locked myself out and COULDN'T open the garage). Walked over to wear I thought the key was hidden, but quickly realized I had NO idea wear it was hidden. I poked around my husband's stuff for a little bit, quickly noticing some little animal droppings. Terrified that if I moved anything something would jump out at me, I barely disrupted anything. Defeated, I walked back into the backyard and continued playing with the girls.
After playing with them for another 10 minutes or so, I realized Hubby could either be home any minute or he could just be leaving work--he's in a very busy time at work, so when he gets home has been pretty unpredictable. I didn't want to be stuck outside if he hadn't left work yet. So, braless and barefoot, I walked to my neighbors house, whom I barely know and really have only met twice for about 2 minutes each time.
First, while standing at their door waiting for them to answer, I got eaten alive by mosquitoes. Since we have our yard sprayed, I forget how serious the mosquitoes are. Then she came to the door and immediately started telling me how she was going to come over and get me. Whaaat? Didn't realize we were friends and that there'd ever be a reason to come get me (a post is definitely coming about my neighborhood and how no one talks/knows each other here). Okay.
So I asked to use her phone. Her husband never greeted me. Her kids seem sweet but they were never introduced to me. And I stand there, in all my braless glory, calling my husband (thank goodness I have his number memorized), while she stands there and anxiously waits for me to hang up.
See, she was "coming over to get me" because she was just about finished turning her house into a haunted house. Last year, while decorating for Halloween, I met her in our front yard. She told me how she converts part of the house into a haunted house for her daughter's birthday party every year. I thought that was pretty cool. She said that she'd come get me to see it when it was done but I didn't see her again until Christmas.
Then my neighbor began walking me through her haunted house. She had black garbage bags hanging from the walls and all these scary props. As we walked further in, it got darker and darker. And I realized, I don't know this woman from a hole in the wall. Just because you're living next to someone doesn't mean that they're good people.
I've seen the 'Burbs.
I've seen that Shia LaBeouf remake about the neighbor who is a serial killer.
Even Dexter has neighbors.
I could very well never come out of this "haunted house". Fantastic. All the ways I make sure I protect myself and lecture Hubby on how he fails, I've just walked into a trap...
How could I do this to myself?
What about all the things I've never gotten to do?
I'm still young with my entire life ahead of me!
I have no one to blame by myself! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Then we came out the other end and my panic subsided. I guess the haunted house works. Man, was I scared.
She let me go, although not without having me volunteer for our local historic society. That woman's good. I have to say. And away I went, just as I came, braless, barefoot, and getting eaten by mosquitoes.
In the end, I didn't get to watch Sports Night, but did get some quality time in with the girls. Silver lining: I got some cute pics while we were locked out. ENJOY!
I didn't think much about Sorkin again for several years. Actually, it wasn't until last year to be exact. See my favorite movie of the 2010 was The Social Network, screenplay by Aaron Sorkin. I recognized the love I had for that movie. It was the same I had for Studio 60.
So, I did the next logical thing anyone my age would do. I Googled him. I come to find out that Sorkin also wrote A Few Good Men. Interesting. I already knew about West Wing. But then, I see he wrote one of my favorite movies that I've loved for years, The American President. When I was a teenager, I used to watch this movie over and over again.
This weekend we saw Moneyball. I've wanted to see this movie since the first time I saw the preview. And yes, I wanted to see it even though I am a loyal NY Yankees fan. I love me some true stories. Well, this movie was terrific and then, as the credits rolled, I saw why I enjoyed it so much. "Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin" Of course.
Now, I'm hooked and determined to watch anything his name is tied to, starting with Sports Night, a show I've always read really good things about.
This is where the misadventure starts:
As I was sitting down to put it on, Nikki started crying. She wanted me to play with her. Fair enough. I grabbed my camera (See Below) and went outside with the girls. We played frisbee until the girls were pooped. We turned around to go inside and [please pause for drama effect] the door was locked. Awesome. All I brought outside with me was my trusty camera which in the case, does NOT make phone calls.
I walked around to the garage and was able to open it this time (you may remember this time when I locked myself out and COULDN'T open the garage). Walked over to wear I thought the key was hidden, but quickly realized I had NO idea wear it was hidden. I poked around my husband's stuff for a little bit, quickly noticing some little animal droppings. Terrified that if I moved anything something would jump out at me, I barely disrupted anything. Defeated, I walked back into the backyard and continued playing with the girls.
After playing with them for another 10 minutes or so, I realized Hubby could either be home any minute or he could just be leaving work--he's in a very busy time at work, so when he gets home has been pretty unpredictable. I didn't want to be stuck outside if he hadn't left work yet. So, braless and barefoot, I walked to my neighbors house, whom I barely know and really have only met twice for about 2 minutes each time.
First, while standing at their door waiting for them to answer, I got eaten alive by mosquitoes. Since we have our yard sprayed, I forget how serious the mosquitoes are. Then she came to the door and immediately started telling me how she was going to come over and get me. Whaaat? Didn't realize we were friends and that there'd ever be a reason to come get me (a post is definitely coming about my neighborhood and how no one talks/knows each other here). Okay.
So I asked to use her phone. Her husband never greeted me. Her kids seem sweet but they were never introduced to me. And I stand there, in all my braless glory, calling my husband (thank goodness I have his number memorized), while she stands there and anxiously waits for me to hang up.
See, she was "coming over to get me" because she was just about finished turning her house into a haunted house. Last year, while decorating for Halloween, I met her in our front yard. She told me how she converts part of the house into a haunted house for her daughter's birthday party every year. I thought that was pretty cool. She said that she'd come get me to see it when it was done but I didn't see her again until Christmas.
Then my neighbor began walking me through her haunted house. She had black garbage bags hanging from the walls and all these scary props. As we walked further in, it got darker and darker. And I realized, I don't know this woman from a hole in the wall. Just because you're living next to someone doesn't mean that they're good people.
I've seen the 'Burbs.
I've seen that Shia LaBeouf remake about the neighbor who is a serial killer.
Even Dexter has neighbors.
I could very well never come out of this "haunted house". Fantastic. All the ways I make sure I protect myself and lecture Hubby on how he fails, I've just walked into a trap...
How could I do this to myself?
What about all the things I've never gotten to do?
I'm still young with my entire life ahead of me!
I have no one to blame by myself! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Then we came out the other end and my panic subsided. I guess the haunted house works. Man, was I scared.
She let me go, although not without having me volunteer for our local historic society. That woman's good. I have to say. And away I went, just as I came, braless, barefoot, and getting eaten by mosquitoes.
In the end, I didn't get to watch Sports Night, but did get some quality time in with the girls. Silver lining: I got some cute pics while we were locked out. ENJOY!
Playing before we realized we were locked out.
How can you resist Stella's smiling?
While locked out, we played until Nikki was pooped.
This little girl loves her frisbee, so it sure takes a lot to get her to that point.
After I realized we were locked out and I went to the neighbors house.
"Hey, Mom. Where are you going? We'll keep playing if you want."
<3
Monday, October 17, 2011
Maybe I Want to be a Wedding Planner When I Grow Up...
........................but don't hold me to that.
Sorry it's been a while. I know this is a slippery slope so I'll make sure TWO weeks don't go by without a post again! First, I didn't write anything because nothing interesting was happening to me and I didn't want to write a boring post with no direction (not that I haven't done that before). Then, I got a little too busy and didn't write anything during my down time because I was too tired from what was going on that day. In between all that, there were also times when I was just too lazy--have I ever mentioned that I'm typically brutally honest? Well, in the spirit of my ever recurring theme of "What do I want to be when I grow up?", I'll pick up with a story from that:
Earlier this year, while I was still in my miserable dead-end job, I decided to post an ad on Craigslist. Not one of those creepy ones, but one offering free wedding planning services. You see, I've always dreamed about what I would do if I won the lottery. The problem is that I don't play the lottery. Well, I've always dreamed about being a wedding planner. I've talked about it. I've helped friends in planning theirs. But beyond just talking, I never really did anything about it.
Then one night I figured, if I want to do this, I'm going to need experience. And the only way someone's going to hire an inexperienced wedding planner (other than friends and family) was by offering the services for free. This would give me an opportunity to test the waters, learn a little about it, and if I do well, possibly even begin getting a list of references.
Then I got a hit. I actually got two but one of the weddings was during a time right smack in the middle of vacations, traveling, and visitors, so I had to turn that one down. The other wasn't happening until the end of the year.
The original email from the client--yeah, I get to say that--was super professional and very organized. We set up a time to speak shortly there after. The conversation went well. She seemed a lot like me. A bit controlling about her wedding but really in need of help for the day of the festivities. She had booked many vendors but really wasn't sure how she was going to handle them during the course of the day. She said that was really how she needed my help.
Well, sign me up! This seemed like a really good first opportunity. This was a bride that absolutely knew what she wanted but just needed some help. What a great way to get my feet wet. I was so excited during the course of the call, that I forgot to ask the groom's name. But no worries, I was sure to email her and ask.
I knew she had just started a new position at her company which was leaving her very little time for planning. I reached out to her a couple of times via email but never heard anything back. Then I got caught up in my job search and eventual switch. We didn't communicate at all again until late August, when she called me and left a voicemail. The issue at this point was I had NO IDEA who this message was from. But when I called her back, she refreshed my memory--how embarrassing.
We decided to set up a meeting since the wedding was just a couple of months away but we never pinned down a time. I followed up with an email. Nothing.
About a month later, I decided we really needed to meet, so I called her. I was ready to put my foot down about a meeting time but didn't need to. It was one of the first things out of her mouth, "Let's get together for lunch." So we did. It was really exciting for me. I really enjoyed meeting her and going over what the day is going to look like. Then, at the end, she said something that really boosted my confidence, "After speaking to you, I feel so much better about the plans." Yup, I did that. I made her feel better. Awesome.
So I worked on a minute-by-minute timeline, based on my wedding timeline that our coordinator did. I emailed it off to her with some questions. And.... well, and I still haven't heard anything back from her and her wedding is in a few weeks.
So what I've learned so far in wedding planning:
This could be me one day... minus the love drama of course.
Sorry it's been a while. I know this is a slippery slope so I'll make sure TWO weeks don't go by without a post again! First, I didn't write anything because nothing interesting was happening to me and I didn't want to write a boring post with no direction (not that I haven't done that before). Then, I got a little too busy and didn't write anything during my down time because I was too tired from what was going on that day. In between all that, there were also times when I was just too lazy--have I ever mentioned that I'm typically brutally honest? Well, in the spirit of my ever recurring theme of "What do I want to be when I grow up?", I'll pick up with a story from that:
Earlier this year, while I was still in my miserable dead-end job, I decided to post an ad on Craigslist. Not one of those creepy ones, but one offering free wedding planning services. You see, I've always dreamed about what I would do if I won the lottery. The problem is that I don't play the lottery. Well, I've always dreamed about being a wedding planner. I've talked about it. I've helped friends in planning theirs. But beyond just talking, I never really did anything about it.
Then one night I figured, if I want to do this, I'm going to need experience. And the only way someone's going to hire an inexperienced wedding planner (other than friends and family) was by offering the services for free. This would give me an opportunity to test the waters, learn a little about it, and if I do well, possibly even begin getting a list of references.
Then I got a hit. I actually got two but one of the weddings was during a time right smack in the middle of vacations, traveling, and visitors, so I had to turn that one down. The other wasn't happening until the end of the year.
The original email from the client--yeah, I get to say that--was super professional and very organized. We set up a time to speak shortly there after. The conversation went well. She seemed a lot like me. A bit controlling about her wedding but really in need of help for the day of the festivities. She had booked many vendors but really wasn't sure how she was going to handle them during the course of the day. She said that was really how she needed my help.
Well, sign me up! This seemed like a really good first opportunity. This was a bride that absolutely knew what she wanted but just needed some help. What a great way to get my feet wet. I was so excited during the course of the call, that I forgot to ask the groom's name. But no worries, I was sure to email her and ask.
I knew she had just started a new position at her company which was leaving her very little time for planning. I reached out to her a couple of times via email but never heard anything back. Then I got caught up in my job search and eventual switch. We didn't communicate at all again until late August, when she called me and left a voicemail. The issue at this point was I had NO IDEA who this message was from. But when I called her back, she refreshed my memory--how embarrassing.
We decided to set up a meeting since the wedding was just a couple of months away but we never pinned down a time. I followed up with an email. Nothing.
About a month later, I decided we really needed to meet, so I called her. I was ready to put my foot down about a meeting time but didn't need to. It was one of the first things out of her mouth, "Let's get together for lunch." So we did. It was really exciting for me. I really enjoyed meeting her and going over what the day is going to look like. Then, at the end, she said something that really boosted my confidence, "After speaking to you, I feel so much better about the plans." Yup, I did that. I made her feel better. Awesome.
So I worked on a minute-by-minute timeline, based on my wedding timeline that our coordinator did. I emailed it off to her with some questions. And.... well, and I still haven't heard anything back from her and her wedding is in a few weeks.
So what I've learned so far in wedding planning:
- Make sure to ask the groom's name.
- Always CALL.
This could be me one day... minus the love drama of course.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Misadventures in Pleasures R Us
WARNING: This contains some adult content. Although, I'm not really sure just going to an adult store qualifies us as adults. I mean really, we giggled at most things like teenagers.
A little insight about me: I'm totally fine with porn. Not too long after (now) Hubby turned 18 and I was visiting him at college, we made the exciting walk (yes, we were just freshman, so he wasn't allowed a car on campus yet) to an adult shop near his school. This was the first time either of us had ever been to a place like this. I can remember the feeling of how exciting it was to be doing something so grown-up. I also remember getting carded when we walked in. That makes me laugh today. We looked around, giggled at the toys, and settled on a dvd. You know, one with a plot.
We rushed back to the dorm to watch our new treasure. And here's the part that may make you judge me. We got back and (now) Hubby's roommate was in the room. It seemed totally logical to me to invite him to watch it with us. So, he did. So the three of us watched the porno together. Maybe because of that or maybe because I just really liked the guy, I'll always have a special place in my heart for him. When the movie was over, well, let's just say we kicked the roommate out.
So, during our dating years, we watched our fair share of adult movies. There were more exciting times at adult stores. Some downloading on lap tops. Rest assure though, that was the first and only time we watched them with anyone else.
For some reason though, we really haven't done anything like that since I moved in with him in Texas three years ago. There's been some soft-core late night cable TV stuff, but that's really it.
A few nights ago, Hubby said (this is a direct quote), "You know what I could go for? Some porn." And then proceeded to get the computer. Laying in bed with the lap top watching dirty movies in bed with Hubby just seemed a little off to me. So I nixed the idea. It felt like we were in college--and while there is some excitement to those feelings usually, it wasn't doing it for me this time.
Well, yesterday, after Hubby came home to find that I mowed the lawn (that's for real, not an innuendo for anything), he said that I could pick what we did for the evening. I of course, picked one of my favorite restaurants with one of my favorite desserts and my favorite non-margarita drink. After dinner we were heading back home, and it hit me, "Let's go to Pleasures R Us." Not the real name of the store but thought it made a cute name for my purposes. So we turned around and headed that way.
I've been to this place a couple of times. It's a lot of fun and at least in my experience, really doesn't have the sleazy feeling to it. They have a lot of lingerie and things to dress up in, so it almost feels like a little dirtier VS. So we looked around and giggled at some of the toys and packaging--I'm sorry, I just can't help it when I see "Crotchless".
I picked a little something out and then we headed to the videos. Again, giggling ensued from both of us. We were both being particular about our picks. No fetish stuff, nothing that made me feel creepy (ie girls on the cover looking too young). Hubby found a Superman parody that looked pretty good but would have cost an arm and a leg so we passed on that one. Then we found a reasonably priced Taxi parody. Yes, Taxi, the beloved late 70s/early 80s sitcom starring Tony Danza, Danny Devito, and crew.
We headed to the register and checked out--quite excited about our find. When we got home, I opened our treat to find...no dvds inside. We just brought home an empty box. Awesome. Disappointed, I called and they told me they had the discs. It was already too late by then though. So I'll be heading there again today. I'll let you know how the storyline holds up compared to the sitcom.
A little insight about me: I'm totally fine with porn. Not too long after (now) Hubby turned 18 and I was visiting him at college, we made the exciting walk (yes, we were just freshman, so he wasn't allowed a car on campus yet) to an adult shop near his school. This was the first time either of us had ever been to a place like this. I can remember the feeling of how exciting it was to be doing something so grown-up. I also remember getting carded when we walked in. That makes me laugh today. We looked around, giggled at the toys, and settled on a dvd. You know, one with a plot.
We rushed back to the dorm to watch our new treasure. And here's the part that may make you judge me. We got back and (now) Hubby's roommate was in the room. It seemed totally logical to me to invite him to watch it with us. So, he did. So the three of us watched the porno together. Maybe because of that or maybe because I just really liked the guy, I'll always have a special place in my heart for him. When the movie was over, well, let's just say we kicked the roommate out.
So, during our dating years, we watched our fair share of adult movies. There were more exciting times at adult stores. Some downloading on lap tops. Rest assure though, that was the first and only time we watched them with anyone else.
For some reason though, we really haven't done anything like that since I moved in with him in Texas three years ago. There's been some soft-core late night cable TV stuff, but that's really it.
A few nights ago, Hubby said (this is a direct quote), "You know what I could go for? Some porn." And then proceeded to get the computer. Laying in bed with the lap top watching dirty movies in bed with Hubby just seemed a little off to me. So I nixed the idea. It felt like we were in college--and while there is some excitement to those feelings usually, it wasn't doing it for me this time.
Well, yesterday, after Hubby came home to find that I mowed the lawn (that's for real, not an innuendo for anything), he said that I could pick what we did for the evening. I of course, picked one of my favorite restaurants with one of my favorite desserts and my favorite non-margarita drink. After dinner we were heading back home, and it hit me, "Let's go to Pleasures R Us." Not the real name of the store but thought it made a cute name for my purposes. So we turned around and headed that way.
I've been to this place a couple of times. It's a lot of fun and at least in my experience, really doesn't have the sleazy feeling to it. They have a lot of lingerie and things to dress up in, so it almost feels like a little dirtier VS. So we looked around and giggled at some of the toys and packaging--I'm sorry, I just can't help it when I see "Crotchless".
I picked a little something out and then we headed to the videos. Again, giggling ensued from both of us. We were both being particular about our picks. No fetish stuff, nothing that made me feel creepy (ie girls on the cover looking too young). Hubby found a Superman parody that looked pretty good but would have cost an arm and a leg so we passed on that one. Then we found a reasonably priced Taxi parody. Yes, Taxi, the beloved late 70s/early 80s sitcom starring Tony Danza, Danny Devito, and crew.
We headed to the register and checked out--quite excited about our find. When we got home, I opened our treat to find...no dvds inside. We just brought home an empty box. Awesome. Disappointed, I called and they told me they had the discs. It was already too late by then though. So I'll be heading there again today. I'll let you know how the storyline holds up compared to the sitcom.
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